


Wall

by lightbringer666



Series: The Winchesters and a Wall [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Codependency, Codependent Winchesters (Supernatural), Heavy Angst, M/M, Post-Episode: s12e08 LOTUS, Prison, Psychological Torture, Quote: Sam and Dean Winchester are psychotically irrationally erotically codependent on each other, Sam Winchester-centric, Sam is slowly going nuts, Sam's POV, Solitary Confinement, Supermax
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-06
Updated: 2018-03-06
Packaged: 2019-03-27 21:14:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13889262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lightbringer666/pseuds/lightbringer666
Summary: Some days were torture. Dean was right there, yet he was unable to touch him. Less than a foot away, but separated by a concrete wall. He wanted to punch through that concrete, wanted to run and launch himself at it and throw himself through it and be once again beside his big brother, where he belonged.





	Wall

A foot of concrete separated the Winchester brothers. The walls loomed around Sam as he stared at the one connecting him to his brother. He wasn't sure how he knew which cell Dean was in, call it instinct, their souls connected to find one another, Sam didn't care how, all he cared about was Dean, his soulmate, his lover, his everything, being less than a yard away. 

Sam had been through Hell, literally and figuratively, and yes, he had been away from Dean for longer, but that was when one of them was  _dead_. When he was physically incapable, no matter what, of finding his brother, of ensuring his safety. 

_But Dean was **right there**_ **.**

And being so close but so far hurt worse than anything that could have occurred inside the Cage. 

The wall was no longer just a foot of concrete, no longer just the hunk of man made rock that it seemed to be when he was thrown into the cell. It was now an enemy. It was something that was separating the Winchesters, making it inherently a bad thing. Sam tried his best to act as Dean had instructed. To stay calm and wait for Dean to get them out, but God was it hard. Waiting, not sure if Dean was okay, if he was eating, if he was upset. Hell, maybe the feeling was in his head, maybe Dean had been moved, maybe he was dead. Tears filled Sam's eyes as he willed the thought away. 

_____D.W._S.W._____

It was hard, keeping his hopes up. Continuing to think that maybe Dean had a plan as he sat in the cell without him. All Sam wanted was to see his brother. He'd sleep pressed up against the wall, the one that kept him away from Dean. He hoped that Dean did the same, so that they would, in a small sense, be together. It made him feel a little bit safer, as though his big brother could protect him even from behind the 12 inches of solid rock. Somehow, he kept hope most days. 

Some days were torture. Dean was right there, yet he was unable to touch him. Less than a foot away, but separated by a concrete wall. He wanted to punch through that concrete, wanted to run and launch himself at it and throw himself through it and be once again beside his big brother, where he belonged. Sam would stop eating for a few days at a time, he'd throw himself at the wall, trying to see if maybe he could break it if he just  _hoped_. He'd continue this until guards came in to sedate him, finally sick of seeing him doing this to himself. 

Sam always thought about Dean. Wondered how he was doing, what he was doing, if he was thinking about him. He constantly wanted to just scream, cry. He couldn't draw any sigils, his violent actions towards the damn wall already had him on suicide watch, if they saw him drawing blood, he'd definitely get restrained. Likely to his bed, which was on the wrong wall. He couldn't do this, he couldn't be that far away. He missed Dean so much.  _God_ he missed Dean so much.  

Some days, Sam wanted to die. Would rather be back in Hell, back with Lucifer and Michael, than alone in this cell. The only thing that kept him going was remembering Dean, remembering that he was counting on his little brother to wait. He had to do this, for Dean. 

Some days, he had given up all hope. Stopped eating, making a show of picking at his plate, but ultimately returning it full and properly mutilated through the slot in the door. Sometimes, he wouldn't grab the trays at all, but then the guard would start yelling and Dean may have heard, so he grabbed them, in case. 

Some days, he didn't even move, refused to get off of the floor, curled up next to the goddamn wall and practically cuddling the cold, hard stone. Occasionally, he'd scream, crying for the guard to bring him to Dean, to reunite them. Screaming for them to just kill him. Yelling for his brother, yelling for a guard, yelling for God, yelling at God. Just screaming.

Sometimes, Sam liked to imagine the guard who was watching him, imagining their look of confusion or horror at the way he was acting, maybe they were concerned, maybe they would let him know that Dean was okay, would tell Dean that he missed him. Maybe they didn't care. Just thought that 'of course the psychos are codependent, of course they need each other'. 

He didn't realize just how much until they were kept apart. 

And then it happened. 

_____D.W._S.W._____

It wasn't a tough decision to die to be with Dean, the idea of losing his life was fine, and he'd get to have a few more precious hours at Dean's side. When Billie came to him, it took less than thirty seconds for him to agree. He was ready to see Dean again, and when she took him, and he saw Dean's ghostly figure next to her, he felt free. 

"Time for a jailbreak, Sammy."

**Author's Note:**

> May make another for Dean's POV I've been thinking of this for a while


End file.
